I have such mixed feelings about dating....as most of you know, I dated last year....for several months. It was probably a complete rebound relationship. Looking back it was completely the WRONG person for me BUT in some ways he was also the PERFECT person for me too....because he was a really sweet guy...treated me like a princess, made me feel amazing and looked after me exactly the way I needed to be looked after at the time!!
Yes, he was just what I needed at the time. In many ways he and I were perfect together - his kids were soooo great....I LOVED hanging out at his place - he worked away every other week, he wasn't that close to his Mother, but his parents were really nice!! So none of those Mommy/ Son issues I've had with my last two husbands.....omg what is it with boys and their Mothers??????
And D was also a great communicator...he could write and talk sooooo well....
BUT....there was a lot missing that I NEED in a relationship.....and I knew it wasn't right.
Since then, I really haven't been interested in dating...I left the dating website I was on and gave up for a while....and then I joined another....and although I've had quite a good response on there, I've always ignored the emails I've received beyond the first or second one....
I'm not sure why. I just have an 'I can't be bothered' attitude....
I have a couple of friends who are starting to date again and they make it sound sooooo exciting and soooo much fun....but I'm not sure that I can be bothered with any of that yet.....with making the effort....with trying so hard to impress.....having to be witty and clever and funny and smart....looking your best, smelling your best, having good hair days, being fussy about your clothes....
And even if I did go on dates, I REALLY don't know that I want to invite anyone back here....it's nothing to do with keeping them away from my children as much as I don't want any man invading MY space.....I don't want them cluttering it up.....I don't want their 'stuff' here.....
Geez how on earth did I ever share my home with a guy??? I don't want a man putting things in places I don't want them....or me having to move my clothes over to make room for his in the closet.....or guy crap in my bathroom......
So all this tells me that I'm not ready yet to date......my hair stylist, Amber, who I also call my therapist (because she is AMAZING and literally sorts my life out - she knows EVERYTHING and she gives me a good smack and tells me what to do and how to sort things out etc....well, she says I need to just date myself for a long while and stay single.....she's right of course. She was right about the jerk I married and she was right about the rebound.....she is 27 and gorgeous - some guy really should snap her up. If I was a guy I'd snap her up....she makes me cry because she is THAT good at sorting out my head and my hair....if I moved to Australia I would still fly back every few weeks to get my hair done by her)!!
There was a British guy for a while...but that didn't come to much.....he worked long hours and was a bit moody anyway...lacked a sense of humour and he liked soccer a bit too much (lmao).....that's always been a no no in my books as I grew up with a Father who was obsessed with it.
Anyway.....now all of a sudden there are three guys who seem a little more interested in me than I am in them....I have to admit that they're all rather good looking. All tall. And they're all interesting. One I wasn't too sure about but he seems to think we have a lot in common and he keeps asking to chat again....another lives in Saskatchewan but is still interested....and the third....well, the third seems REALLY nice....and he's the one that is confusing me...because I have sworn off of men for now...yet he might just persuade me otherwise.....he makes me smile, makes me laugh.....and he writes as he talks....more than one line...which has always been VERY important to me.....
So anyway, I'm not going to do much if anything for now......I'm just going to see what happens...and if nothing happens then so be it and I will continue enjoying my single life, dating myself ;) And if something happens......something happens ;)
