1 day ago
Sep 30, 2011
Toxic people
I've been thinking a lot about toxic people again and how to deal with having them in your life. I got rid of several people from my life a few years back...and again through my SR class/ therapy I worked through this....and it helped soooooo much. I am such a different person now and life is so much calmer and happier.
But what about the odd toxic person that you can NOT get rid of. The one that you HAVE to deal with every week - and sometimes every day....It's all very well to say 'send them to the moon' and we choose who we allow into our soul house'....BUT, at the end of the day, it can be very difficult to stop that toxicity from wearing you down when you have to deal with it daily.
I watched You've Got Mail yesterday, and in that movie, Kathleen Kelly mentions that Joe Fox brings out the worst in her....he makes her say horrible things that she would never normally say - and she ends up feeling horrible immediately afterwards!!
I feel like I'm in exactly the same situation and I feel terribly stuck. My days are calm and happy and life is so good. I don't yell or overreact. I don't get stressed or over anxious. I am not nasty or rude to anyone. My relationship with the children is so close and we get on so well. Our home is full of laughter and chatter and fun. We are a team.
Yet as soon as I have to have contact with this toxic, controlling person (and unfortunately I HAVE to...despite trying numerous times NOT to) I find myself responding in snide and rude ways - even nasty ways. Which really isn't how I am. And which is really bothering me because I feel like it undoes any good work I have done in de-stressing and calming my life down and creating happiness in this home for my children.
I have tried having no contact - last week there was no contact for almost a week - I wondered why I was feeling so happy and calm and then realised it was because there had been no controlling and toxic texts or Emails all week - it was bliss...but now they are back and that toxic feeling is back and I am back to wishing this person would just go back to the hole they crawled out of ten years ago :(
But what about the odd toxic person that you can NOT get rid of. The one that you HAVE to deal with every week - and sometimes every day....It's all very well to say 'send them to the moon' and we choose who we allow into our soul house'....BUT, at the end of the day, it can be very difficult to stop that toxicity from wearing you down when you have to deal with it daily.
I watched You've Got Mail yesterday, and in that movie, Kathleen Kelly mentions that Joe Fox brings out the worst in her....he makes her say horrible things that she would never normally say - and she ends up feeling horrible immediately afterwards!!
I feel like I'm in exactly the same situation and I feel terribly stuck. My days are calm and happy and life is so good. I don't yell or overreact. I don't get stressed or over anxious. I am not nasty or rude to anyone. My relationship with the children is so close and we get on so well. Our home is full of laughter and chatter and fun. We are a team.
Yet as soon as I have to have contact with this toxic, controlling person (and unfortunately I HAVE to...despite trying numerous times NOT to) I find myself responding in snide and rude ways - even nasty ways. Which really isn't how I am. And which is really bothering me because I feel like it undoes any good work I have done in de-stressing and calming my life down and creating happiness in this home for my children.
I have tried having no contact - last week there was no contact for almost a week - I wondered why I was feeling so happy and calm and then realised it was because there had been no controlling and toxic texts or Emails all week - it was bliss...but now they are back and that toxic feeling is back and I am back to wishing this person would just go back to the hole they crawled out of ten years ago :(
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