Oh so tired....

It's been a long and busy day....all in all it's been a very good one.  

I'm exhausted though and so I'm going to sleep!

Goodnight world :)

xxx

Todays work....

I liked my art journal girl soooo much that I decided to transfer her style onto a canvas this morning.  I love how it worked out:

Then tonight I created this little canvas:

Both are now ready and available for sale.  I have two sales coming up and also art work in my online Etsy store.  

Tonights art journal page....

Susannah says this is her favourite of my girls so far....she likes her hair :) 

I love art...I love being an artist...I love finding my own style...enjoying the freedom of finding my own style finally :)  

My girls <3  

I might get a few of these on to canvas...but the wording on this one is a little personal.

xxx

Snapshots from our Sunday :)

Making the most of the new coupon book!!  Thanks Samantha!!  Saved $$$  at Kidz Quarterz on Thursday and today we saved $$$ at Smittys :)  I HEART the Sherwood Park coupon book!!  I saved soooo much money last year and am so pleased I got a book again this year :)  I am going to go and get my rose this week - and the chocolate dipped strawberries I think - and go tanning again :)  

Coupons rock!!  :)

I swear the fish look sooooo fed up with looking at each others arses ;)  And I just love that the sign says 'Pleas don't touch the glass' and yet the glass is COVERED in finger marks!!  Hahaha!

Found this mask in a Halloween section in a store and Susie put it on.  Too funny - I blurred the edges so it looks like part of her :)  They had some really great mouth masks wish we had time to take pictures of them all :)

Even though my weekend wasn't quite what I was planning (sigh.....) I had so much fun!  Thank you Susannah for being such great company!! xxx

Just a little space.....

This morning I said something that was misunderstood by someone and I wound up hurting his feelings...I spent a horrible day not hearing from someone I really care about...and it was not fun.  

It was made worse by the fact that this person lives so far away and so I couldn't even do anything about the situation.  I couldn't go and see him.  There was nothing I could do to make things better.   :( 

Just wait.

It was a good lesson in patience though.  And I learnt a lot about this person and our relationship.  And that there are others like me (who'd have thunk?? lmao) that just need a little time and space when they're upset.

Thankfully everything is ok tonight and I don't have to go to sleep with that horrible empty feeling in the pit of my stomach lol :)

It's weird when you've been used to a guy who HATED to be left alone when he was upset - it made him physically sick to be left alone when we argued...so after ten years of that, its strange getting used to someone new and their moods, mannerisms, coping skills etc...

Oh well...whatever will be will be....

We live and learn...

Banana...

Abigail slept over at a friends house last week and in the morning the Mom (wonderful Trish!!) made pancakes in the shape of whatever they wished!!  Abigail chose a horse with a rider!!  Trish was careful to point out that it is the riders foot you can see and NOT anything else between the horses legs ;)  

Too funny ;)  

Now Radio End of Summer BBQ.....

Last Saturday I took the kids to the Now Radio Station, for their end of Summer BBQ and party.  It was great fun - free bouncy castle, dunk tank, live music, tours of the studios including seeing Chris Love live on radio...meeting all the hosts....free sno-cones and cotton candy.  

With Cary:

With Adam - it was Adam that gave us our tour around the studio too:

With Cary Howe:

We were finally able to meet up with Taz and give her the cheese flavoured kitkats that we brought her back from Canmore - we tried some with her and were surprised that they weren't too bad - not quite as cheesy as I thought!!  Not something I would buy again but interesting!  We also gave them some bacon flavoured gumballs and bacon flavoured effervescent drink tablets - that they then gave Ray the Intern and made him drink live on air - it made him throw up!!!  I felt really bad  :)  

The girls with Fitzy:

The girls with Mars:

Today....

Today I went to Home Depot and got some Kilz primer spray for inside my cupboard and new drawers - as well as some cans of white spray for the drawers.

Today I hoped for a clearer mind but instead my Truthteller seems to be telling me to just wait and see....

Today I dreamed that he lived closer

Today I forgot about yesterday and moved on :)

Today I heard the revving engines of tractor pulls in the videos Bill sent me...

Today I said "I am always here for you" - to two people - and I meant it 100%

Today I read a few blogs in my Google Reader...endless texts - my phone was beeping non stop all day.

Today I watched the trains going by at the side of Gateway Blvd as Susannah and I ate lunch in the Antiques Mall cafe - the most delicious turkey salad sandwich EVER!!!

Today I believed there is no rush....

Today I felt - high as a kite - we had a lot of fun out today.  I also felt like my feet were going to fall off - they ached soooo much from all the walking and standing!!

Today I wondered why it is ok for some people to make mistakes and yet NOT ok for me to make the exact same mistake - or even a smaller mistake.

Today I bought part of Ki's birthday gift :)  and a postcard with a wonderful message about relationships on it :)

Today I cleaned the kids bathroom.  Myself - I soaked in the bath for a LONG time tonight lol!

Today I was happy, fun, curious, helpful, supportive, busy, interested, hopeful.

Art journal page from this morning...

Dark skies....

Antiques Mall....

I love strolling around the antiques mall - as well as looking for a few things to take home, there are always some hilarious/ tacky/ rude/ disgusting things to see too!!  I can't resist taking pictures of a few things as I go round!!

Like this little Monk who looks perfectly innocent.....

Until you notice that he was sneaking a look at this little floozy who wasn't wearing any undies!!

This poor guy had decided the day wasn't going too well - what a perfect 'shot glass' lol:

Some of these George Bush playing cards were hilarious - but why on earth would someone WANT them??  lol:

This had a cute message:

Susannah spotted a polaroid and we thought about getting it but polaroid film is so much more expensive than Fuji Instax - so I think she is going to stick with the instax!!

Posing with Stanley ;)

The giant Stanley Cup :)

Friday Fill-ins....

And...here we go! 

1. Why do I do this every time?.

2. shall I go to his place tomorrow to stay.

3. By far the most important thing in my life right now is my relationship with my children.

4. North American. Canada rules :) 

5. But when it comes down to it, I still struggle with letting go and letting someone in....

6. I enjoyed being happily single for the longest time.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to time with my beautiful Susannah, tomorrow my plans include possibly a drive out to Bonnyville???  OR just to Home Depot to get white spray paint to do my drawers - i'll decide in the morning and Sunday, I want to go and stroll around the Antiques mall off of Whyte Ave.

Our first 'Poetry Tea'

This year we are introducing 'Poetry Teas' into our homeschool routine.  Just a fun little way to introduce poetry reading into our lives as well as to sit and make a special occasion out of it by drinking tea together from tea cups and saucers, having a tea pot, plates and little cakes etc.

The children really enjoyed it - especially pouring the milk from a little cream jug, using the tea pot and the tea cups they had chosen for themselves :)  

The poems we chose this time were all themed around Autumn, saying goodbye to Summer etc etc...

Everyone agreed we should make this a regular event.  

I love my little table - it's the perfect size and style for us to sit around and be close and together :)

Article on the importance of Father - Daughter relationships!

She's Always Watching: The Impact of Fathers on Daughters' Self Esteem

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I was recently speaking with a teen aged girl who said: "I adore my father but I would never date anyone like him. He treats me like a princess, but I don't like the way he treats women."

I was blown away by her ability to so succinctly articulate the complexity of her emotions about the two sides of her father; the man who loves her and the man who seemingly treats women as disposable, interchangeable, companions for the purposes of physical and social convenience. It's not that he's blatantly disrespectful on any level and as a single man, his behavior is far from inappropriate, yet she has learned well, and recognizes the contrast between how he has taught her to be loved and how he treats women in general.

Her father lavishes her with affection and attention, so she feels cherished. Before she even understood what it meant, he told her she was beautiful, smart and worthy. This makes her relatively immune to the compliments of boys who try to impress her with words that would make a girl deprived of such reinforcement swoon or flee. Ambition, intelligence and good communication are her basic requirements. The young men courting her understand the bar has been set high and vie for her respect and friendship.

Our exchange prompted me to think about the fathers in my life: my father, my friend's fathers, my brothers, colleagues etc. and what their daughters could possibly be learning from them about their self image and how they should be treated as women. Everything from what love looks and feels like, to the value of intelligence and definition of physical beauty are transmitted from father to daughter in verbal and non-verbal cues. 

When I was about five years old, my father looked at me and offered a stern warning, "You have fat potential!"

At the time, I had no idea what he meant, but I could tell from his tone, and the way he looked at me, it was not good. I eventually learned what it meant and became obsessed with my weight. I was terrified of gaining weight. It took me many years, a handful of therapists and even more self-help books to get myself firmly on the path to reversing the damage inflicted upon my self image by my father's well received words.

A colleague of mine recently bragged "I've been married 18 years and never once cheated!" I laughed and asked if he was impotent. Of course he wasn't, but he did boast that his wife could wear his fourteen year old daughter's bathing suit. This was his reason for fidelity; having a wife in her 40's, with three children, that does God only knows what, to fit herself into clothing belonging to her child, barely two years into puberty. I could only hope that she was modeling healthy choices to her children in her efforts to keep herself this size.

I congratulated him and wondered if he would take responsibility if he were to discover his daughter throwing up her meals to meet his weight requirements. Could he even see how with all the pressure surrounding young girls to look like airbrushed, anorexic models, that his comments might have a detrimental effect on his daughter?

Another father, married 20 years with two teenaged daughters, has a beautiful family, whom he professes to love deeply and value greatly. Yet, he has been having an affair for almost 10 years. I asked him if he really believed his daughters and wife were clueless about his clandestine activities. He looked at me earnestly and nodded yes. I told him I disagreed and shared with him my understanding of the uncanny ability of children to know all things that parents try to hide. He admitted that he watched his own father's infidelity throughout his parent's marriage.

Then he mentioned a cousin of his who serially cheats on her husband; she attributes this to watching her father cheat on her mother and she realized in therapy how this experience left her with trust issues. Subconsciously, her cheating is her way of avoiding the heartache and humiliation she watched her mother endure. He became introspective when he realized how many of our friends are dealing with the fallout of their father's affairs playing out in their relationships.

With so much emphasis on fathers to take care of their sons, and I emphatically agree that this is crucial, I would ask all fathers to recognize that your daughters need your care too. They are watching you and learning about their value based on the actions and words you offer them. Your treatment of their mother and the other women you befriend, love and interact with, speak volumes about a woman's worth.

Your power lies in your understanding of the significant impact your behavior has on your daughter's self image and how it will influence the quality of relationships she chooses. This is the currency she will carry as she travels into the world of adulthood.