Its been a looooong morning. It's 12:30 but feels more like 5pm....Lloyd won't be home for hours yet and it's grey and rainy outside too........fab day - NOT.
I phoned my Mum to tell her about Mervyn...thought she'd want to send a card or something........
The girls have been making more paper bag puppets.....and also Fathers Day cards. The boys watched Trinidad play England in the World Cup. Maybe it was fate that Trinidad played England on the day Mervyn died. Actually a shame they lost.
When someone dies you are supposed to feel sad for them and for those left behind....which I do of course....but you are also expected to think nice thoughts of the person who has died....and that is what I struggle with. I don't have much good to say about Mervyn. The only good thing that I could maybe mention is that he introduced me to the idea that no one has ever landed on the moon........and also that he used to bring me sugar cake.
I haven't told the children yet...so thats hanging over me like a dark cloud. I have to tell them but something is stopping me and I don't know how to tell them or what to say or how they will react. My head hurts and I feel crappy and I am sooooo tired from several nights of no sleep......and I just don't know how to tell them their Grandad has died. This isn't like me at all...I'm normally such a together person.
4 days ago
