Feeling used.....................finding friends

There are people in my life (as I am sure there are in most peoples lives) who drain me.......who use me......and I know this .....I KNOW it....but I still find myself going back for more......

When will I learn?

I have an extremely toxic 'friend' who keeps sucking me back in.............then spits me out when someone better comes along....and actually better always seems worse to me because these people treat her like crap! So maybe its a vicious cycle.....

But slowly I am learning...I have moved away from this person socially......as best I can.......I can be pleasant and friendly and polite but I need to be on my guard because I know how I feel so low after contact with this person.............they suck me dry because its constantly about them.......everything is about them. I find that so hard at times.............I mean shit...what am I a @#^$&%$&% therapist to spill your woes out to and then dump for someone else? Thats what it feels like........................

So yeah......anyway.......an email I got this morning from another person asking me for something........like I am only worth bothering with when you need a favour.............

This summer has been good for me.......I have found out who my real friends are.....I have got to know some GREAT new people.........and it has helped me see the light and feel stronger about dealing with toxic people...................

My new school year resolution is to stick with my gut feeling and not allow myself to get treated that way any more.

I did have a fab email from Christie today though...who is in BC already....and saw bear poop!!!!! Cool! I have this weird fetish for finding animal poop and following trails etc......bear poop would be cool! They have dried bear poop at the museum.....the kids always joke that it looks like my chocolate snowballs I make with oats!

She sent me a link about a ski resort and they have this fab tubing hill....I wanna go tubing this winter!!!! Oh and we got confirmation of our suite in Banff........I'm soooo looking forward to this trip :)

Today Chris is working at the museum.................we are having a fairly quiet day at home....then will go into town for a while...then this evening we have several friends coming over with radio controlled aeroplanes to show the children......that should be great fun........although they say it may rain tonight and if it does we will postpone..................

The Benadryl left me so drowsy last night and this morning I feel hung over...............I'm hoping a walk to the mail box at lunch time will clear my head.......