I was thinking again about that weekend four years ago. On the Saturday - around the time of the accident, Lloyd and I had run out to Home Depot - we only lived around the corner and it wasn't really snowing when we left home. It started to snow as Lloyd walked into Home Depot - I stayed in the car with the children. By the time Lloyd came back to the car - just a few minutes later, the snow was coming down big time....you couldn't see very far in front of you. Thankfully we didn't have far to go.
The next afternoon, my friend Kerri phoned me and told me about Mandy's accident. I was so stunned I laughed. It just didn't seem possible. Not long after, Michele phoned me and I talked to her for a while about it....I think she was in shock too because she had been very close to the children but was talking as if it had happened to someone she hardly knew...I think it just seemed unreal to all of us.
I tried and tried to phone a friend of ours Anna, to let her know......I left emails for her too.....I finally get through to her and as she said hello it clicked why I was calling. I remember her saying 'OMG the accident on the news. That was Mandy wasn't it?'
The next day, Kerri came over and a friend of ours from Calgary, Dana, drove up to my house. WE all drove into Edmonton to the hospital to visit Mandy. What do you say to someone who just lost everything...their entire world??? WE stayed there for.....actually I've no idea how long we were there. We all hugged Mandy and her partners Mom was also there. I remember I had to act as witness for a few insurance forms they were filling in for the accident. I was fine in the room with Mandy, talking and discussing all the matter of fact things.......the room was busy...people in and out all the time. Mandy was talking about going to see the children - that the doctors wanted her to see them to make it more real. In the end she did and I know this really helped her.
After we walked out of the room to go home I completely lost it and broke down in floods of tears...I remember standing by the elevators in the U of A bawling into Kerri's shoulders.
I don't have a clue what happened after that....I don't even remember getting home.
The night of the memorial service was equally distressing. Mandy asked all her friends to join her at the front of the hall as she read Robert Munsch's book 'I'll Love You Forever'....Cameron and Ashleys favourite bed time story. That wa s avery difficult night for us all but nothing compared to what Mandy must have been going through.
As the days passed, I would go and visit Mandy over at her parents home.....and then as she got brave enough to drive again she would come over to our home to visit.
I'm not sure why I am typing all of this out....I guess every year its a way of going over it again, trying to get it all straight in my mind, trying to get over it all....come to terms with it all.
It was a difficult time for everyone and I think it helps to talk about it...even here on my blog :(
2 days ago
