Article on Happiness - I think this is so true :)

Sorry I can't remember where I found this article but I had it saved in my Email folder!!


How to be Happier
We are all born with a "set point" of happiness, but we now know that it is also a learned behavior and just because someone isn't born that way, they can be that way if they choose to be. Genetics determines about 50%.

Important in learning to be happy:
1. Meditation
2. Journaling (esp. gratitude)
3. Fake it till you make it. Faking happiness causes the same chemical reactions as BEING happy and eventually will create the happiness. Actions matter - act happy.
4. Surrounding yourself with friends and family is a huge factor in increasing happiness.
5. Having your own sense of self and no interest in keeping up with the Joneses is helpful.
6. Doing activities that put you in the "flow" where you lose sense of time and enjoy it, increases overall happiness. The more of those you have, the better off you are. Doing what you're best at.
7. Must have a capacity to love and be loved.
8. Altruism
9. Spirituality
10. Creativity


Damaging to happiness:
1. not forgiving - huge - the biggest stumbling block - the single biggest determining factor in someone's happiness level
2. materialism


Surprises:
1. Major health problems, such as loss of mobility, have no long term effect on people's general happiness. After about 90-180 days they return to their pre-incident level of daily happiness.
2. People are very bad at predicting what will make them happy. Better to trust human resilence than human prediction.
3. More choices you have the more likely you are to be unhappy. People feel with so many choices, there's no excuse for failure. Choices also make people question every decision.
4. Happiness comes mostly in daily little bits. People get thrills out of finding a quarter or getting an unexpected gift. The emotion actually makes them more generous, friendlier, flexible, creative and better at solving problems. Small bursts of this feeling caused radiologists to make more accurate diagnoses in one study. 

Another beautiful Brave Girl's post

FROM BRAVE GIRLS CLUB!!! CLICK HERE!!!

Tag time :)

listening - Abigail and Sam chattering away outside while they play.  Susannah on the computer watching a video.

eating - coffee and chocolate 'nudges' that Trish brought me back from BC :)  

drinking - tea that Susannah brought me up when she got in from school xxx

wearing - my red hoody.  Sooooo comfy and warm :)  

feeling - ready for Fall.  Ready for socks and boots, jeans and warm sweaters and hoodies.  Curling up by the fire to do schoolwork.  family walks through the woodland trails with the crisp fallen leaves beneath our feet.  Coziness and cuddles in someones warm arms :)  

wanting - this weekend to arrive :)  

needing - to get the ground beef out of the freezer before I head out for the evening otherwise I will never remember tonight!!  Trying a new recipe in the crockpot tomorrow!  

thinking - about fresh starts, possibilities....

enjoying - Fall weather, Fall colours....Fall routines....

wondering - what the next few months will bring....

Morning walk on a crisp Fall day....

While Abigail was in her Outdoor Education class, Sam and I met up with friends and went for a lovely walk around the Wilderness Centre.  Despite the chill in the air, it was a lovely sunny morning and the scenery was gorgeous!  Sam and his friend loved exploring the trails (and off the trails) and Jennifer and I let them lead the way, while we followed and tried to keep up!!  

Jennifer luckily had a frisbee in the car, so we were able to make the most of the frisbee golf game they now have going around the trails there!  I think we will have to head out there for a game one evening!!

On the way home we stopped off at our local playground for a bit more exercise and to make the most of the sunny day...it was still chilly but nice and sunny.  The playground is new this Summer:

Fire starter!

This morning Abigail had her first Outdoor Education class at the Wilderness Centre. The theme of this class was 'Fire Starting'.  It was a mixed age class from 8 years to 17 years and worked really well.  They were taught basic safety of outdoor survival - from what to wear - layers, silk, polyester etc NOT cotton etc and how to build a fire.  They were taught two 'styles' of fire  - the teepee and the 'jenga' style.  

They each got to try starting a fire and then when they had all started a fire, they then got to cook some bannock on the fire once it was roaring :)  The bannock was delicious and they were each given a recipe for bannock to bring home :)

The smell of the fire was lovely on a cold crisp Fall morning - and I thought it was perfect that today was the first cold morning we have had!  

Abigail really enjoyed her class - especially as several of her friends were in the class:

Senses tag.....

• One thing I saw today was…the very sad status update from Faiths Mom and Dad saying that little Faith had passed away this afternoon.  I am glad to hear that she is no longer in pain or struggling to breathe, but I am still so very sad that a little girl so full of life and happiness...a little girl so happy with her Barbie house just a few short weeks ago, is no longer alive to enjoy it :(  Life really is so unfair sometimes.

• One thing I heard …my phone buzzing a LOT with text messages - ones that made me smile....and a picture of a very cute little girl with a tooth missing :)  

• One thing I touched today was…Abigails hair and cheek.  She was sleeping on the bed beside me this afternoon and I was stroking her hair and cheek and kissing her cheek while she was asleep :)  She's still so little even though she's almost ten!  :)  

• One thing I tasted …the pulled pork I made for dinner which was amazingly good - I cooked in bbq sauce with Guinness YUMMY!!!  :)  with yummy buns :)  

• One pleasant smell I had today was…the smell of Sams cough and cold syrup - even though he didn't like it lol!

My art...

Tonights canvas - just simple acrylics on canvas - I used metallics on her hair so it shimmers :)  

This canvas is wood and is a simple old plinth that I picked up at a thrift store and reused.  I prepped the background with various papers and painted over it, and then used scrolls of paper which I then inked and used mists on.  I finished with a few embellishments:

Similar to the one above but simplified, this is Susannahs favourite:

This is a page in my art journal.  I was exhausted the last few days after rushing about non stop, and I ended up feeling quite low physically and emotionally.  Just run down from taking on too much.  I wanted to do a page to remind myself that sometimes you just HAVE to slow down:

Loving it :)

ramblings

listening - a gentle hum of traffic occasionally in the distance...the occasional breeze in the trees.....now and then coyotes howling in the field outside - some of them sound quite young.  Otherwise silence.

eating - I had a beet salad at Culina today.  It was amazing!  Not quite as amazing as their toast though that came with Sams soup!!  WOW!!!!!!  out of this world!!!

drinking - tea before I sleep :)

wearing - shorts and a black top.  Need to get ready for bed still.

feeling  - happy and content.  :)  

wanting - things to develop...see how things develop...watch the story unfold...see if it does....if it doesn't it doesn't...but it's fun anyway :)  

needing - to go to sleep!!

thinking - about that last text message <3

enjoying - the northern lights tonight!!

wondering - how I got to be so lucky to have the life I have - I wouldn't swap it for anything - never a dull moment.  No one could ever call my life boring....and even with the few bad moments, they bring adventure and excitement to my life that I wouldn't change for anything.  I am so grateful for my life.

Muttart Pyramids visit

Today we spent the afternoon at the Muttart Conservatory in Edmonton.  We enjoyed spending time in each pyramid, learning all about plants in each part of the world - There are three pyramids that cover parts of the world that are either Arid, Temperate or Tropical, and then there is the Show Pyramid.  We were able to look on the maps and see which parts of the globe each pyramid related to.  We saw plants like Banana's, Pineapples, Figs and dates.  We experienced a rain forest with its high humidity. 

Outside in the gardens we collected seeds of various trees - including acorns from a rare Oak tree.  We are going to busy planting.  We watched the squirrel above for a while busily eating apples!  The children climbed a few trees they probably shouldn't have!  It was a lovely day!

I have many more pictures but they are all on FB - I tend to put the better pictures of the kids on FB as I don't want too many on here any more ;)  

Abigail had ordered a cd from the library and today we heard that it was in, so we stopped off at the library to get it - Sam also wanted some books on gem stones as he has a big treasure box of gem stones and wanted to read up on them and find out if he is rich!!!  he also wants to find out what his bone is from that he found yesterday, so we looked for a couple of books on bones.

Then we headed home.  We were going to go out for the evening but everyone is grouchy and too hot as it was 32c today.  So we are staying home.  Busy day tomorrow so maybe its a good thing!  

RED ;)

This was the best picture I got out of about 20 lol - and yes, my eyes are closed and it's cropped badly...but Abby and Sam ere too busy climbing trees and having fun to be bothered to get a good picture....and at least you can see my hair cut and colour.  Vibrant huh??  ;)  

Amber said I was ready for vibrant.  She was right.  I needed it.  It suits the me I am now.  The real me.  The artist.  The confident, outgoing, VIBRANT person I really am.  

Best of all, it only needs to be redone every 4 months :)  

Sweet!!!

x

Friday fill-ins

1. Do they have a Starbucks on the way to the Muttart - I fancy a Pumpkin Spice Latte.

2. geez; it was as if the wind changed direction yet again.

3. That was a very strange dream, Darren was in it, I had to go to the hospital in this strange city, there was this huge sandstorm type thing but worse...the only building left was the hospital. There were soldiers...then there were police everywhere, I think Darren - or some other guy was trying to blow up the blue bin or what was left of it and we had to make sure the children weren't around. A terrorist was blowing up the garden centre because they had a Halloween display (???)There were other odd things lol....Darren - get out of my dreams ;p  I blame JoAnne because she was talking about him last night lol!!

4. his place seemed so comfortable. 

5. As I said, to JoAnne last night, I don't want to date....I think that is what I struggle with most - I really do NOT want the hassle of 'dating' - of 'making out' - of making an effort to impress all the time or get to know someone or whatever.....I just want to be already in the comfortable stage of curling up on the sofa in the evenings, lazy Sunday mornings in bed watching tv or reading or chatting...doing the groceries together....but NOT making out.....NOT having to always look my best...NOT always having to think of things to say to impress....NOT always having to be on my best behaviour....I want to be able to be me and him to be him...and things to be at that comfortable stage....so I guess I can't date for a while because whoever I date wants to 'date'....and wants to make out on the sofa when I'd much rather just curl up together and read or watch a movie.  Lol!  

6.  The Facebook message this morning was definitely some new twist.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to maybe a drive down to Miquelon to enjoy a late Summer evening, tomorrow my plans include taking the kids to the Now Studios end of Summer party, then taking Abigail to her sleepover, then taking the kids and their friends to the Maroon 5 and Train concert :) and Sunday, I want to finish filling the bin with the rest of the stuff, then head out somewhere nice for a walk with Rosie!

Thursday....

Thursday was a mixed bag generally.....I woke up early with a migraine.  I am limited to what meds I can take as I have very few left and can't get any more, so I tried to get through the day as best I could without them but in the end had to take something because I had a hair appointment tonight and had already cancelled last weeks because of a migraine.  So I didn't want to miss tonights too.  Amber is too good to lose as a stylist!!  

Abigail spent almost all morning studying French again - she is obsessed with it :)  she is learning as much as she possibly can so she can catch up with the other girls in the class I think - and I am so proud of her - she is picking it up so fast!!  :)  

As soon as I can afford it I think I will look in to getting Rosetta French.

Sam has been enjoying the magnets kit with iron filings and other fun things:

We played the new games we got at Education Station.  I particularly like 'The Game of Chips' which is a math game.  It's really simple and comes in a  tiny bag so you can take it with you when you go out.  It involves addition - mainly fast addition up to 11 but also addition up to 30 and Sam is REALLY good at it.  I played a game against him this morning :)

We also played 'Spot It' which is a fun card game similar to 'Pictureka', but I think it's more fun - I get carried away because it's very 'on the edge of your seat' and we start yelling and shrieking trying to find our 'things' on the main card....its so funny :)  

The third game was Pairs of pears or something...it's an alphabet game where the children had to spell out three letter words that connected at one point or something....in the end we gave up with the game and just used the tiles to make words and they were swapping letters with each other to make words, but it was really helping Sam with spelling and rhyming words and vowels etc etc...

This afternoon I wanted to relax and do some art, so I sat and watched a video from a class I'm taking - and Sam watched it with me.  He then wanted to join in with the class with me and draw and paint one of the girls from the class just like I was.  So we both started to draw a girl from the video.  Here is Sam doing his:

Her name is 'Ellesse' and she is under a beautiful sunset :)

And here is mine....I've done quite a bit to her since, but she isn't finished....so I will blog the journal page when she is finished......

Abigail also added a French learning app to my iphone and worked on that.  She also helped Sam start on his 'Our Community' workbook.  Abigail did that book in Grade 2 although its a Gr 1 book - and she loved it - so she thought Sam might like to do it too.  

He was excited to know there is a page or two about police officers in there - as that is what he is hoping to be one day!  

Oh another thing I am soooo happy about is that today I got Sam a place in a homeschool field trip to Safety City :)  He goes in two weeks time :)  I am so pleased as it is somewhere all Kindergarten/ Grade 1 kids normally go and he won't miss out!!  Laurence has always been sad that he missed out as he came here a year too late to go.  He is going to LOVE it :)  Abigail has quite a few classes coming up that Sam is too young for - but Abigail is actually too OLD for the safety City trip - so it will be nice for Sam to get to go on this one by himself :)  

So that was our homeschool day today....it was a good day for Abigail again - I think she does better on slower days - and also on cooler days - although today was hot - we were inside in the air conditioned house, so she wasn't hot and overheated.  She was calm, helpful and sweet - it was just like she was before the School holidays.  I really do think she doesn't cope well with changes in her life/ routine.  She doesn't cope well with heat and she doesn't cope well with a busy lifestyle.  

Tomorrow is going to be hot again - as much as I would love to go out and enjoy the heat, I think I am going to find somewhere indoors to go and see if being cooler again helps Abigail.  

Tonight I had my hair appt with my amazing Amber.  Love her sooooooooo MUCH!!!!  Tonights appointment was sooo much fun :)  I always leave there feeling so much better - and Susannah is right - she does give the most amazing head massages!  

My beautiful friend JoAnne showed up halfway through my appointment - luckily she also knows Amber :)  We went out for coffee and dessert afterwards (thank you JoAnne xxx  Love you x) and got caught up with each others news.  

I got home tonight to find Abigail fast asleep, but Sam was still awake watching a movie on my bed!  He had brought me a gift home from his Dads - a bone he had found by the river in Edmonton!!  I kid you not!!!  It STINKS!!!!  lmao!!!  Maybe he's going to work in the forensics department as a police officer lol.  Laurence says he thought the bone was a moose or something (downtown???  lol)  I said it's probably human lol and Sam said his dad told him it was probably the old Granny that died in the river last year.  omg!   I have a dead Granny's bone in a plastic bag in my mud room.  Sam said he washed it at his dads but it didn't go very white!  No it didn't - and it looks OLD!!!  

I have the weirdest kid lol - love him so much but why does he have to have this thing about sticks and bones and stones????  Omg I remember when he kept the chicken bone from his dinner and ran upstairs and hid it in his bedside drawer hahahahaha!!!

And years ago when he found a bone up on the back field and brought it home, washed it and painted it!

He's going to be a Palaeontologist  (sp??) or whatever they are called....

Tomorrow it's going outside - he can keep it but OUTSIDE!!!!!  lol!!

Thats all folks

xxx

Fabulous post!!

You can find this and other fabulous posts  IF YOU CLICK HERE

It reminds me of the OLD ME....how insecure I was before my separation.  Lol!  I have grown so much as a person since then - thanks in a HUGE part to the Soul Restoration classes I took and Brave Girls.  As well as other journaling, therapy, hard work and friends xxx

Anyway, this is an excellent article and worth reading :)  I truly believe that it is VITAL to have a relationship with yourself and to really REALLY like yourself - LOVE yourself before you can have a GOOD and HEALTHY relationship with another.  

BLOG | Self-Love Cleanse: Loving the Inner Mean Girl

By Tymeesa Rutledge
April 13, 2011

I remembered being pissed when I heard a female voice in the background while I was talking on the phone with a guy I had feelings for (But keep in mind we were only friends at that time).

It wasn’t long before HE confronted me. “Why did you catch an attitude?”

HE then went on to say how she was his little cousin, which it turned out she was. I felt totally embarrassed because I had assumed the worst. My “inner mean girl” (the negative voice in my mind) began to get ratchet as all hell saying things like “HE’s a liar,” “You don’t deserve this,” “HE’s lying, you don’t have to tell him our feelings are hurt. You’re not jealous. HE’s out to get you!” It wasn’t pretty.

HE became the mirror that helped me see the issues I have and how my “inner mean girl” was negatively affecting my life. It was then I embarked on a self-love journey.

This post is ultimately not about romantic relationships and instead, will discuss the importance of having the relationship with oneself. A self-love journey is about loving myself for all of the insecurities and flaws I have.

That realization encouraged me to seek out solutions; I found some solutions at the The Loving Your Inner Mean Girl Workshop led by Christine Arylo of The Inner Mean Girl Reform Schoolwho encouraged me to begin the Self-Love Cleanse.

Amy Ahlers (left) and Christine Arylo, co-founders of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School. Screenshot from their "Stop the Self Sabotage...take the Inner Mean Girl Cleanse!" video below. (Youtube)

The workshop offered some solutions on how to deal with my personal issues. I never thought about my negative voice being my “inner mean girl.” But, that’s definitely what she is. A total mean girl! She constantly tells me I won’t finish my homework on time, that I’ll never have a “good boyfriend” or be a “good friend” because I didn’t deserve any of it.

While all of us has an inner mean girl, the manifestation is a little different for everyone. Sometimes there are “inner mean sisters” thriving inside you — six of them in total. Maybe you have the mean girl that tells you “You got an ‘A-’ when you should have gotten an ‘A.’” Christine likes to call her the “achievement junkie” because nothing she ever achieves is good enough.

Or, maybe she or her sister’s the “comparison queen.” You know, that mean girl that tells you “You’ve been on television when you were 21. Big deal! Oprah has been on television since she was only 20.”

Whatever your inner mean girl says to you, her words come from a place of past hurt. Maybe, like me, you’ve been disappointed in past relationships with ex-partners. Maybe you’re still carrying baggage that needs to be dropped off at your local UPS storage that you can come and visit whenever you like versus being the hoarding “bag lady.”

If you have any of these mean girls or their sisters Judy Jealousy, Heather the Hater, etc., you can join me in the Self-Love Cleanse.

The Self-Love Cleanse is a 40-day journey in which you commit yourself to loving YOU.

When my inner mean girl says “Tymeesa, you’ll never do that” or “you’re not organized enough,” I tell her that I love her and ask myself “What am I afraid of?” The Self-Love Cleanse is a personalized journey. You can choose and make up whatever works for you.

Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve been disappointed many times in my life by family, friends, boyfriends — you name it! But, my inner mean girl doesn’t want me to get hurt again. As a defense mechanism, she says mean things out of fear or insecurity. I understand where she is coming from. So instead of hating her, I will love her.

The self-love cleanse can be done for yourself as well. It’s a daily battle. It’s moment by moment. Situation by situation, girl. Below, I will share some takeaways I’ve been using from the workshop in the last week:

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Self-Love Cleanse: 10 Things to Do for the Next 40 Days

1. Write 108 things that you like about yourself.

2. Start your morning with gratitude. Look out the window and admire nature.

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“How you start your day is how you live your day.”
–- Unknown

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3. Talk to her (the inner self) in the morning. Tell her that you love her. Then, take that inner pause.

For the last week, I’ve been saying “I love you Tymeesa” three times every morning.

4. When people compliment you, accept the compliment and build a conversation around it.Really receive it! You’re not a bad person acknowledging that you’re cool.

5. Appreciate all of the things you have –- whether it’s your friendships, food, water, shelter, etc.

6. Drink a cup of tea to relax your soul in the morning. Tea really relaxes me so I start my day in a good state.

7. I write a morning prayer in my journal and thank God for what he’s done for me. If you pray or meditate, take the word “more” out of it.

For example: Instead of asking “God, let me be more loving,” ask God to continue to allow you “to be loving.” You are accepting yourself as you are right now.

8. During the day — lunch, mid-day or afternoon — celebrate 3-5 things that you’ve done so far. You will be surprised at how much you accomplish.

9. Be present.

I have a problem with this one because I’m always thinking in the past or future. But, I have to appreciate the moment. Why? If your mindset is in the past, you’ll be overcome with regret and if you’re thinking too much about the future, anxiety will consume you.

10. Because those are not positive feelings, you should let them go!

Good luck.

Today I went to the mail box and was very happy with what was there :)

Today I hoped the tide had changed permanently but sadly no...

Today I dreamed of new beginnings

Today I forgot  to get the letter out of the car

Today I heard more geese fly overhead even though its 30c

Today I said he was a selfish bastard - and I meant it.  He is.

Today I read all about my new class.

Today I watched Sam walking along looking through his mini telescope :)

Today I believed my fate lies in the hands of a totally selfish bastard :(

Today I felt powerless to protect my children the totally selfish bastard that doesn't seem to care about their futures and best interests :(

Today I wondered endlessly how best to deal with this situation

Today I bought a french cd and lemonade.

Today I cleaned my bathroom.

Today I was riding a roller coaster.  I am happy and had a wonderful day with my children - we enjoyed the gorgeous weather and our time out - we had a great day homeschooling and Abigail enjoyed her class.  we had fun at the park - I had a good time with Susannah there - the farmers market was fun too.  It was a great learning day :)  It was also a good day for developments regarding Abigail and therapy.  She also had a good day and no melt downs!!  It was a GOOD day :)  The only bad part was dealing with divorce stuff.  Get that out of the way and life will be perfect :)