Dec 24, 2008

A gift from Val ;)

Val just sent me this :) I can totally relate to the cold and frozen pipes.......too funny :)




Diary of a Demented Snow Sniveler

December 8 6:00 PM

It started to snow. The first snow of the season and
The wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
The window watching the huge soft flakes drift down
From heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So
Romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!


December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
Covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic
Sight! Can there be a more lovely place in
The whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've
Ever had!
Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a
Boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered
Up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
To shovel again. What a perfect life!


December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
Disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry-
We'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on
Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much
Snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see
Snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
A nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.


December 14

Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The
Temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything
Sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed
Up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is
The life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and
Buried everything again. I didn't
Realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling,
But I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
I wouldn't huff and puff so.


December 15

20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2
Extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants
A wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think
that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.


December 16

Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
The driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The
Wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very
Cruel.


December 17

Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
Anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to
Pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but
Stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I
Should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to
Her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe
I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom.


December 20

Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of
The damn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all
Day. The damn snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said
They're too busy playing hockey. I think they're
Lying.
Called the only hardware store around to see about
Buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
Another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob
Says I have to shovel or the city will have it done
And bill me. I think he's lying.


December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
Inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold,
It probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes
To get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I
Had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
Dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to
Hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of
The winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the
Asshole is lying.


December 23

Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0.
The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house
This morning. What is she, nuts?!!
Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
Says she did but I think she's lying.


December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke
The shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I
Ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow
Plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and
Beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he
Hides around the corner and waits for me to finish
Shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
Miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just
Been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas
Carols with her and open our presents, but I was too
busy watching for the damn snowplow.


December 25

Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn
slop tonight - Snowed in
The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate
the snow!
Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation
and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife
says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a fricking
idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one
more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.


December 26

Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was all HER idea.
She's really getting on my nerves.


December 27

Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze;
plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he
only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.


December 28

Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The BITCH is
driving me crazy!!!


December 29

10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever
heard. How dumb does he think I am?


December 30

Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now
he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the
beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the
broken snow shovel up his ass. The wife went home to
her mother.
Nine more inches predicted.


December 31

I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.


January 8

Feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?

NORAD

The younger three are tracking Santa on NORAD.org they've seen him go across Africa so they know he has delivered to Malle in Mali (one of our World vision sponsored children) and we aren't sure if he has been to Lima in Peru yet. We keep watching. We saw him go over Mount Fuji in Japan though!

Malle is Muslim, but we sent her a 'holidays' package anyway and we also sent three goats to her community as a gift to Lloyds team - and on behalf of the staff at school - instead of silly little gifts - so I made snowman soup for everyone and cards and then we gave goats. Three goats can be milked, bred, and used as meat. Whatever.....

We also sent a Christmas package to Margori in Peru who is Catholic. I know her Mom will send me a lovely letter and photograph of Margori when it arrives and I LOVE getting their letters and pictures - I treasure each one :)

Next year we plan to sponsor a third child somewhere else in the world - it is something we really enjoy - and we love doing it through World Vision. We are not religious and we like that World Vision do NOT push their religious beliefs on to the children they help. They also ask the sponsor families not to push their religious beliefs either - like Malle is Muslim so they ask us not to push Christian ideas on to her - I LOVE this idea!

No more school.

Abigail left school last Friday and will not be returning after Christmas. She brought home all her supplies and we will go through it all next week some time and see if any of it will be of use to us.

Of course the last week of school was all parties, concerts and gift giving, so she is a little sad to leave now, but our first week of homeschooling will hopefully be focused on swimming and other fun activities, so all should go well if the weather and health goes to plan!

Perhaps we can fit in a trip to Kidz Quarterz too! We also have Sams birthday that week too! We could look at the Ukrainian Christmas festivities that week too!

For now though we are focusing on our own Christmas celebrations.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Sunday

I guess I should say that on Sunday I had a day out with my boys too! The older two! This has been an annual tradition since we arrived in Canada! Firstly Chris and I would go every year just before Christmas - he would get his gifts for the family and we would make a day of it and have lunch together, and now Laurence comes with us (mainly because Chris likes to disappear for a while and get his gifts alone and meet us for lunch).

So on Sunday the three of us headed off, the boys chose their gifts for their siblings etc and we had lunch out. Christopher ran into some friends and a little later headed off to a movie, and Laurie and I met Lloyd and the others and we headed to Kelseys for supper before driving to Bright Nights to see all the Christmas Lights.

It was a nice day spent with the boys - mainly with Laurence I guess but some time with Chris. Laurie and I spent most of the day laughing and he posted on facebook about how much he enjoyed it :)

I love that the children choose their own gifts now - the younger ones normally choose theirs in the store at the Festival of Trees, but we didn't go this year - I will miss that :( They have picked some interesting gifts in the past - Lloyd has a lovely flashing shot glass and a wonderful flashing PINK cocktail glass ;) it's THOSE gifts that MAKE Christmas :) because anyone who really KNOWS Lloyd knows that he is TOTALLY the pink flashing cocktail glass kinda guy ;)
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