Sep 30, 2011

Brave Girls message - straight to my hearts xxx

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Toxic people

I've been thinking a lot about toxic people again and how to deal with having them in your life.  I got rid of several people from my life a few years back...and again through my SR class/ therapy I worked through this....and it helped soooooo much.  I am such a different person now and life is so much calmer and happier.

But what about the odd toxic person that you can NOT get rid of.  The one that you HAVE to deal with every week - and sometimes every day....It's all very well to say 'send them to the moon' and we choose who we allow into our soul house'....BUT, at the end of the day, it can be very difficult to stop that toxicity from wearing you down when you have to deal with it daily.

I watched You've Got Mail yesterday, and in that movie, Kathleen Kelly mentions that Joe Fox brings out the worst in her....he makes her say horrible things that she would never normally say - and she ends up feeling horrible immediately afterwards!!

I feel like I'm in exactly the same situation and I feel terribly stuck.  My days are calm and happy and life is so good.  I don't yell or overreact.  I don't get stressed or over anxious.  I am not nasty or rude to anyone.  My relationship with the children is so close and we get on so well.  Our home is full of laughter and chatter and fun.  We are a team.

Yet as soon as I have to have contact with this toxic, controlling person (and unfortunately I HAVE to...despite trying numerous times NOT to) I find myself responding in snide and rude ways - even nasty ways.  Which really isn't how I am.  And which is really bothering me because I feel like it undoes any good work I have done in de-stressing and calming my life down and creating happiness in this home for my children.

I have tried having no contact - last week there was no contact for almost a week - I wondered why I was feeling so happy and calm and then realised it was because there had been no controlling and toxic texts or Emails all week - it was bliss...but now they are back and that toxic feeling is back and I am back to wishing this person would just go back to the hole they crawled out of ten years ago :(

Sep 29, 2011

Sep 28, 2011

Wednesday tag....


1. It is officially fall here in North America..what's your favorite memory of Summer 2011?  One of my favourite memories would be thanks to Joanne M - and it is flattening pennies on the train track in Canmore :)  Scattering pennies along the track and going back later that day to find them and seeing them all squashed flat by the train on the tracks :)  Some of them were only have squashed which was really neat :)  I have a collection of them now and can't wait to go back and do more - and maybe other coins too :)  

2. Your favorite nut? You know I mean the edible kind, right?  Brazil nuts

3. What activity puts your sense of balance to the test?  ice skating

4. How would you describe your sense of humor?   sarcastic, a little rude/ naughty ;)

5. September 28th is National Ask a Stupid Question Day...what's your stupid question?   How much would I have to pay you in order for you to eat a lump of dog poop?  

6. Roller skates~hula hoop~jump rope...which activity would you most enjoy? Yes, you have to choose. Roller skating for sure :)

7. What's your most sentimental possession?   I used to have a lot of sentimental items, but I'm not as attached to anything any more...my SR life books from my SR classes are probably the most important things to me after my children and Rosie.

8. Insert your own random thought here.  I really don't like Aquafina bottled water....

Everything changes....



"Everything in life is temporary, because everything changes. That's why it takes great courage to love, knowing it might end anytime but having the faith it will last forever"

-x-

Sep 27, 2011

Date night with Sharon :)

Tonight was date night with Sharon.  Every month or so we get together at Montana's for Appies and desserts and to chat and laugh about all the ups and downs in our lives - actually mainly in MY life and mainly in my LOVE LIFE lmao.....which seems to be the main topic of conversation each time lol....but no matter what we always spend the night laughing and Sharon always shocks me with her crude sense of humour because she always seems so respectable lol - so to hear some of the things she says makes me laugh even more!!  :)  



Sharon thinks I terrified the server in to giving me all these green suckers, but I promise, no threats were made:  


Thanks for a great night Sharon!!!  (Now you have to admit the outside piccy of the restaurant REALLY makes the blog post Sharon, huh??????  lmao)....

Love this :)


So very true :)

Saw this on Facebook and think it is so very true.

Be true to YOU.

Love YOU.

-x-

Today!!!

Today I went to the health unit to meet with Abigails psychologist and psychiatrist and have her meds reviewed.

Today I hoped that there would still be some green suckers left at Montanas after Sharon got Tara and Mack to take them all yesterday!!  And thankfully the server gave me about TEN!!  :)

Today I dreamed about what it would be like to go with what the children want me to do...if they could pick a new husband for me I know who they would pick....

Today I forgot to put the French cd on in the car on the way to French club!!

Today I heard that Ki's Daughter was ill with a lung infection and being given IV antibiotics, so I made sure Ki knew she could call me at any time if she needed anything.

Today I said Congratulations to Darren for being offered the job he was interviewed for today...now he decides whether to apply for the other one, and also what shift to choose...but in the mean time I'm pretty sure it means he can have better access to texts and Email during the day again :)

Today I read a news article that Kathy sent me about an idiot who tried to smuggle live Hummingbirds in his underpants!!!

Today I watched Sharon watch me from across the parking lot with a very puzzled look on her face, as if I was CRAZY hahahaha!!!

Today I believed - I am incredibly lucky to be surrounded by so many wonderful friends and to have such a vibrant, full and fulfilling life.

Today I felt - really pleased to finally get my boots off for a while this afternoon after rushing about all day.

Today I wondered  about creative ideas, games, crafts, projects for French club when it is held here next month.

Today I bought Two bags of perogies at Sobeys for $1. each - they are a great deal!!  Sobeys has some really good dollar deals on at the moment!!  The kids really like perogies!

Today I cleaned my bathroom, my bag, the car out of some garbage/ clutter that was building up again....

Today I was busy making plans and filling in my diary up until Christmas with classes, field trips, activities and get togethers....as well as making arrangements for my birthday celebration.

Monday.....

This morning Sam and Abby spent doing school work....they both took turns on the computer and on the iphone - I have some new apps that I have got after joining a new website especially for homeschoolers who like apps!!  Math games, spelling games, creativity games...

They worked on their Minecraft project together and after I asked a few questions about it for a friend they then sat and explained even more about it to me and then Abigail researched several links and information about it and Emailed it to me :)  

Abigail registered for the online 'live' Lego club on Currclick and sat and listened to most of todays class - she now has the recording of it and wants to get all the bits of Lego we didn't have so she can create the DNA that they built in todays lesson.  I think she is now hooked on live online lessons :) 

Abigail did some of her spelling workbook, and Sam did a page of her dice math workbook and then a page of his Community workbook for 'social':






Abigail has written a kind of bucket list of things she wants to do before she turns 10.  It's kind of funny as many of the things on her list are things she has already done before but she just wants to do again - so she has been working through it - today she wanted to cook a meal, so I helped a bit but she did the majority of it all - have to say that her basmati rice was the BEST rice EVER - it was perfectly fluffy and  light!!!  Yay for Abby!!  She did honey and garlic meatballs with mixed vegetables and rice!  It was yummy :)

I found this when I came downstairs:


Tonight I went out for coffee with my friend Cori....her girls have been sorting out their toys and she brought with her  a big (HUGE) box of Littlest Pet Shop toys for Abigail...Abby is going to be thrilled when she wakes up in the morning :)

Before I met Cori I went into Homesense to have a look around - they had tons of toys on clearance, so I had a look through and managed to pick several things up to put away for Christmas....I'm doing quite well for Christmas already.  I have all my gifts for friends organized and bought, and I have several stocking fillers and under-the-tree gifts done too :)  I want to budget carefully and spread the cost as unfortunately my Ex is completely unreliable with giving us any money.  I don't want to be in a position where I am having to use the childrens Christmas money to pay the mortgage, so I would rather be prepared and not rely on someone who has proved himself to be nothing BUT UNRELIABLE :( 



Anyway, I had a lovely evening catching up with Cori - as always, it has been far too long since we've spent time together, so we had a lot of talking - and laughing to do!!!  

Darren was messaging me while I was having coffee with Cori....something about needing a ride home because he'd been drinking...oh ha bloody ha!!!  ;)   That guy is just IMPOSSIBLE lol...but yes Darren...you do make me smile :)  

Sigh.....

So....that was our day....Susannah seemed to have had a good day at school despite some upset over a boy yesterday - thankfully the boy apologised which I am very grateful for and happy that he did so.  

Laurence also seemed to have a good day - he baked an apple pie at school today - and brought it home, but we didn't get to see any of it because he was hungry on the bus and ate it!!!!!!
He's making lemon meringue pie on Thursday - I told him it's his dad's favourite....but no doubt it won't last long enough for his dad to try any!!!  Growing boys....sigh...all they do is eat ;)  

Tomorrow is a busy day - with psych appointments in the morning, French club all afternoon and I'm out in the evening with my fabby friend :)  

Wednesday is busy too....with facilitator meetings, I have an appointment to help someone with design ideas for their house....and grocery shopping in the evening.  

and Thursday Bricks4Kidz starts....

and then Friday....well, thats a whole other story ;)



Sep 26, 2011

Interesting.....

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!) A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy. I'm still not over the pig.) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home . What the...?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.) Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing!) A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.) Polar bears are left-handed. (Talk about a southpaw.) Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?) Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts. (and God love that pig)...

About aging....

Thank you Sandy for sending me this :)

In April, Maya Angelou was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday
?Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older. And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...' 

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.

The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou said this:

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back...'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn...'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Sep 25, 2011

Fall..



Back to work....




B hasn't been well all weekend either.....blegh....I blame the guy we sat next to at Rexall last week - the one we had to keep standing up for...I think thats why we've both been ill all weekend....but we're both feeling better today thankfully.  He heads back up north in the morning for three weeks of work....so it's kind of a good thing he's feeling better!!!

One picture three ways...



Snapshots by the trains






Oh my gawd I have such incredibly beautiful children :)

Two old gals ;)

Last blast of Summer??

Yes, it's Fall...the first official weekend of Fall, but it was 30c today - in fact my thermometer in my car registered 33c at one point today!!!  Driving along 50th St in Edmonton.......33c!!!!!!

Katies Crossing had an ice cream sale this weekend to celebrate the first weekend in Fall, and we couldn't resist going along to one of our favourite places :)  

There was hardly any ice cream left when we got there - they told us they had sold a LOT of ice cream this weekend :)  




breakfast in bed :)


Abigail made me breakfast in bed this morning :)

She is such a sweetheart!!  It was quite a creative breakfast!!  Spinach, mayonnaise and grated cheddar on a wholewheat tortilla! Not my usual choice after just waking up!!  

xxx

Tag time...

A. Age: 39
B. Bed size: Queen - which I LOVE :)
C. Chore that you hate: Ironing - life is just too short ;)
D. Dogs: they love you unconditionally and are completely faithful :)
E. Essential start to your day: coffee or tea and facebook.
F. Favorite color: Turquoise or other jewelled colours
G. Gold or Silver:  silver or white gold.
H. Height: 4' 11"
I. Instruments you play: None
J. Job title: Artist, Full time Mom and Homeschooling Mom.
K. Kids: Five amazing young people :)
L. Live: Alberta, Canada!!  I am so lucky :)
M. Mother’s name: Josephine
N. Nicknames: Emma, Janemma,
O. Overnight hospital stays: all related to pregnancies and births or migraines.
P. Pet peeves: smoking, bad spelling (of OBVIOUS words), people not picking up after their dogs,
Q. Quote from a movie: 

“I turn on my computer. I wait patiently as it connects. I go online. My breath catches in my chest until I hear 3 little words, "You've got mail." I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart. I have mail...from you.”

"I love Daisies. They're so friendly. Don't you think Daisies are the friendliest flower? "
R. Right or left handed: Right.
S. Siblings: Two older sisters
T. Time you wake up: around 7 or 8 am most days.
U. Underwear: thongs during the day and more comfortable undies at night...like bikini style..
V. Vegetable you hate: I love all vegetables.
W. What makes you run late:  procrastinating and distractions like facebook.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: ankles, chest, kidneys, many ultrasounds too
Y. Yummy food that you make: I make a lot of yummy food :)
Z. Zoo animal: monkeys are always fun to watch.....

5am....

Can't sleep....went to bed too early I think.  Wasn't feeling good.  And now I'm wide awake.  Sam is asleep beside me...not sure what time he came in....and I do remember hearing the door being opened at some point and Susannah letting Rosie in - that's a few nights running now that Rosie hasn't settled well in Susannah's room for some reason - she is turning in to Sam and has started waking in the night and wanting to come in with me....so now I have both Sam and Rosie asleep on my bed :)

I'm not complaining though as I really don't mind :)  Rosie is such a good girl and just curls up by my feet and sleeps.  Sam will be little for such a short time - and even though he tells me he still wants to sleep with me when he is all growed up lol, I know it won't be long before he sleeps through in his own room.

Laurence is at his friends house again tonight.  Susannah is home though.  She got home late afternoon and we waited for her to get home before heading out to Ikea for Abigails treat....funny girl LOVES going there!!  Susannah FINALLY got her film strip picture holder too, so she was a happy girl as well!  

I snapped these pictures of Ikea pictures...not sure why anyone would want the cow picture on their wall, but still....



And so now it is Sunday and we have the most amazing forecast for today of 30c....so incredible for late September :)  

Today is free admission day in Edmonton - so all the city facilities are free to go to.  We won't be going to them though as they will all be too busy!!  Instead, we are heading East to the Wilderness Centre for their open house......for a lovely walk on the trails and to have some bannock by the fire...for Sam to build a fort in the woods and for Susannah and Cassie to go geocaching.  

Afterwards we're stopping at Katies Crossing for their ice cream sale :)  A celebration of the first weekend of Fall :)  

I'm hopefully meeting my friend Cori today too - either for brunch this morning or she is joining us this afternoon with her kids too :)  

So all in all it should be a good day :)  

Sep 24, 2011

For today......

Outside My Window... It is lovely and sunny - a gorgeous Fall day.

I am thinking...about the life I want to live - I've been working on my Life Book for 'Soul Restoration 2'....and filling in more pages...it is so calming and so inspiring to work through this class and focus on it for an hour or so.  Even when I feel crappy physically, like I do today, the mere act of working on a page or two of my book inspires me to get going on this life that I WANT rather than wasting even one day of it!

I am thankful for...all the ways in which you can communicate with friends these days - I love it when I get text messages from friends - little hellos and messages of love and caring :)  just 'how are you's'? and 'what are you up to today'?  jokes and pictures :)  They vary soooo much depending on who they are from of course lol!  Then voicemails and phone calls.....and Emails, and messages on FB or my FB wall...I hope people realise how much these little messages make a difference to my day :)  Even when I am busy rushing about here there and everywhere it just warms my heart to know people are thinking of me :)

From the kitchen...flapjack!!  That would be the word of the week :)  Abigail made some earlier in the week and as it was such a BIG hit with everyone, people keep asking hr to make more - so she keeps making more :)  And by flapjacks I mean oatbars NOT pancakes ;)

I am wearing...it's a gorgeous day despite it being Fall - I'm wearing capri's and a short sleeved top.

I am creating...canvases, art journal pages, my 'learn something new every day' album for Shimelles class, an active homeschool community in our area, a busy and fabulous homeschool experience for my children, altered furniture and a wonderful home and home life for my children....a new life for me.

I am going...to have an amazing 6 weeks :)  So excited for what the next six weeks has in store :)
I am reading...not really anything right now...I haven't really had time to do any reading this week apart from the odd magazine article or online article.

I am hoping...to be well enough to meet Cori tomorrow and to take Susannah and her friend out with us tomorrow when we head to the Wilderness Centre and stop off at Katies Crossing - they are having an ice cream sale to celebrate the first weekend of Fall...

I am hearing... a fly buzzing somewhere.....Sam and Abby pottering about in their bedrooms as they have to tidy their bedrooms before we head to Ikea!!

Around the house...The kids bathroom is still unusable which is a pain in the butt and they have to use my bathroom, but we manage.  If I can ever afford it I will get bathfitters in to just throw in one of those cover-all baths and panels that they do in one day.....pretty difficult when L won't pay me any spousal yet has put all the bills in my name....sigh...it's so frustrating to see house prices going up and to see us sitting on our biggest asset and him just letting it rot and doing nothing about it....I don't understand why he doesn't help us do a few things to it to help it sell...not the major stuff but enough for some couple to fall in love with the place - so the bathrooms match the amazing kitchen....but he doesn't get it....he doesn't get that a couple will come here and fall in love with this place for the kitchen and the style and the atmosphere (if it's tidied up)....for the dream....and and THAT will sell it.  But it needs the cosmetics first - the bathrooms, 4 windows replaced.  baseboards.  But each time I TRY and finish anything because I have saved up the money he does something stupid and stops paying me what the courts have told him to pay me and I am left having to use my savings to pay the bills he has put in my name...all the while he has thrown all our money away on people who don't really give a sh*t about him......what a donkey!!

One of my favorite things...driving along country roads with the Autumn leaves falling from the trees like snow over the car as I drive :)  it's so beautiful :)

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week...a meeting with Abby's psychologist, French club, Bricks4Kidz class starts, facilitator meeting, dinner date with Sharon, scrapbooking with Val, Kidz Quarterz with Tracy, homeschool swimming, homeschool drop-in gymnastics, park day???

Sep 23, 2011

First day of Fall...


Beautiful colours in nature on the first day of Fall 2011...




Friday night ramblings..

I think I'm coming down with something....I started feeling achey and tired late this afternoon and so INCREDIBLY tired...I had a nap but even that didn't help.  We took Laurence to his party and at 8:30 and since then I've been curled up watching a movie and feeling yucky...

Hope I feel better tomorrow - busy day.

Today was nice.  Abigail and Sam spent much of the day working on their Minecraft project - which I don't mind because they work on it together and they work so well together which is good for them - team work - AND they are getting sooooo much from it!  Sam especially!  I spent a while reading up about Minecraft this week because I wanted to know all about this 'game' that they spend so much time with...and I think it's actually really good for them.  We've had a busy week and done a lot, so a morning spent working together and on the computer was quite good for them.

Next week will be another busy week as we seem to have a lot of appointments and classes again.  I specifically planned quiet weeks and the ONLY class we have EVERY week is French club, but somehow our weeks fill up so quickly - my evenings next week are filling up fast as well - and next weekend is full already too!  In fact October is full now too!!  I am not complaining because I feel so blessed and grateful to have this life.  I really do have such a full and varied life right now.

This afternoon we met our friends at the dog park for a walk.  Sandy has a new dog - they adopted 'Sam' at the beginning of the Summer, and today was the first time they had taken him to the dog park.  Sandy wasn't sure how Sam would react to being off leash and around so many other dogs and people, but he did great!!  It was funny having two Sam's and even though my Sam didn't seem to notice Sandy yelling at her dog, I kept thinking she was yelling at Sam...it was funny :)

Sandy's Son B is in school this year and so we haven't seen him for a while - it was nice to see him again - and I was sooo surprised at how much E had grown over the Summer too!  Kids really do seem to shoot up over the Summer months!

Susannah had the day off of school today, but made her own plans for the day.  She went out at lunch time with Cassie - they went shopping and then to a movie and she is sleeping over there tonight.  I am so pleased that she stays in touch with Cassie even though they are at different schools now.









Friday fill-ins....

And...here we go! 

1. When I walk around my neighborhood I see Beautiful Fall colour, quiet roads, llamas and cows, fields and trees, peace.

2. At the moment pulled pork or yummy warming soups are my favorite thing to cook.

3. Life is a rollercoaster, my days are so full and crazy, but I feel blessed and very grateful for my full and happy life.

4. My friends and children make me feel all warm and fuzzy with  their loving messages every day xxx

5. Golden beets are my favorite Autumn vegetable. And on the subject of food - had such a funny conversation with B last night about food...for a cook he's such a fussy bugger!!

6. Pumpkin Spice Latte is better when it is from Starbucks, because they know how to make it right - with real whipped cream and pumpkin spices sprinkled on top YUM. I have tried THREE now from other coffee shops and none have come CLOSE to comparing to Starbucks!!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to meeting Sandy at the dog park for a walk, then taking Abby and Sam to Ikea - Abigail is DESPERATE to go there for some crazy reason lol - oh to get a bulb for her lamp and Sam need a bedside lamp... tomorrow my plans include Not sure what we will do during the day - although Ki invited us to Jasper with her.....but I have to pick Laurence up in Spruce Grove at some point from his gf's house....maybe we will go to the science centre and use our annual passes...or maybe swimming....or...who knows.....and Sunday, I want to go to the open house at Strathcona Wilderness Centre and then stop off at Katies Crossing as they have a sale on their ice creams to celebrate the first weekend of Fall! :)

Rosie Posie waiting for bedtime last night....

Safety City field trip


Yesterday we had a homeschool field trip to Safety City for Sam!!  
It was a really great class - all about road safety and how to cross the road safely! He learnt all about the seven steps of crossing the road safely.  Safety City is a mini town with real buildings and roads - child sized - and the children get to practice crossing the streets while their friends ride along the roads on mini quad bikes :)  



First off was the classroom session where 'Safety Mike' taught us all about the Seven Safety Steps:



Then we went outside into Safety City to try it out on 'real' sidewalks:


The children were split into two groups - some rode the quads first and the other group were the pedestrians - they got to play a mailbox game which meant they had to cross several streets to get to various mailboxes and had to be careful of the 'cars' in the streets!!:




Abigail and the other older siblings were too big to join in and so they were given the job of working the  street lights and train signals:


Some children didn't abide by the signals lol - Sam was quite shocked that some children went through red lights hahaha:



The older children also had fun being pedestrians and getting in the way of the cars and generally playing about....sigh...I don't see many 'seven steps of safety' being used here:




The mini stores even have pretend tables and food inside the windows - its really cool!!  And the children were given drivers licences at the end by McDonalds that allow them to go and get a free bag of fries :)


Sam and his friends playing on the train afterwards while we were dishing out all the treats they got to take home:


Safety City:


Sam had a GREAT time :

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