I feel like Debbie......

I feel like Debbie when she wrote that she felt she was letting Adrian down by writing about him the other week........I feel like I am letting Lloyd down and yes I may delete this later but I have to write it down and get it all off my chest.

Lloyds friend is a grade A JERK!!!!! I have tried and tried to like him. I made an effort when he came to stay in Scotland...shit I was even ironing his effing shirts for gods sake. He was rude at times to me there but Lloyd and I had just got together and things were emotional and rocky and it was complicated with my divorce etc and I put it down to him being worried that hsi friend was making a mistake being involved with a married woman with 3 kids.......

Then he was extremely offensive after Abigail was born and when we left for Canada...he got very drunk and told everyone how children ruin your life (yes this at a party where Lloyd was showing off his new baby Daughter!)

Then a situation occurred where I offered him a solution to a problem he and his girlfriend had...and I goit a nasty email back AGAIN saying how kids ruin your life.........

We didn't have contact for along time...maybe once a year or so he and Lloyd would speak by phone....but you know what??? It was ME that nagged at Lloyd to contact him...most weekends I would suggest Lloyd phone his friend for a chat....Christmas I always asked if he wanted me to send a card and suggested he phone........

So then last year this friend writes and suggests he comes to visit - in 3 weeks time!!!! Yep he has no kids and is so self involved he has no clue about family life........sorry you are not that special and we cannot drop everything for you...we HAVE a life!!!!!

So we suggested he come over this summer when we can plan better, when Lloyd can have time off and we can show them around and when they can fly over for more than a few days....preferably with his girlfriend and maybe another friend and his girlfriend and their children too.......

So this friend is in Iraq at the moment and I knew Lloyd was worried about him going.....so we planned parcels to send and I shopped for them and got the children to draw pictures and write letters and we mailed one and he just moaned that there was candy in them (amongst lots of other things it effing well cost $30 to mail just to the US!!!) I sent emails and learned about the area he is in and showed interest...but he is just so self involved all he can talk about is how many minutes he did on the frigging circuit trainer that day and how he can burn at 30% faster rate using an exercise ball!!!!! Who cares???? GET A LIFE!!!!!

I asked on Linkingparents for ideas of what to send him in the care package......everyone suggested lip balm, baby wipes, smelly candles or air fresheners.....socks....candy, gum, magazines.....littles games/ toys and cards etc.........so I packed the boxes full of what they suggested....in fact I also asked him if there was anything he wanted and he didn't respond so I said if there is anything he doesn't want he can give it away to other people there......but no he just said don't send any more candy and that his grilfriend did the wrong thing too and sent him cookies......I'm sorry but to me thats just ungrateful and selfish and RUDE.

Then Lloyd doesn't hear from him for weeks so I email him and ask if he could write to Lloyd to let him know he's ok because he worries.....and I end the letter asking for suggestions for Lloyds birthday and you know what? I get a sarcastic letter back telling me that all my ideas for birthday gifts are dumb and that I don't have a clue about stuff......WTF?????????

In fact he is rude to me throughout the letter and then ends it saying he is really hoping to come and stay with us in the summer because he loved Toronto......

So I am seriously pissed off and I wrote back and explained that where we live is 30 minutes from the city....no buses....4 hours from the Rockies (that he thinks he will explore during the day and then spend the evenings with us!!! Duh!) and it is NOTHING like Toronto here......

I think what hurts is that he tried to make out that I don't know my husband......I told him I had suggested a mountain bike, a telescope and home gym to Lloyd - all things he would love and has talked about buying - but that Lloyd can't decide between.......and he tells mne that Lloyd would not be interested at all ina telescope (what the hell would he want want of those for????) and that a mountain bike would be a thousand pounds (I've budgeted $3000) and that Lloyd wouldn't want weights.......

Well Lloyd wants a telescope - we moved out of the city to a home where we could see the stars and northern lights.........we spend many nights at Elk Island Park studying the skies.....

I KNOW how much mountain bikes are......and yes Lloyd has wanted a home gym and weights for AGES!!!! He used to work out a lot before we met and he really wants to start doing that again - with Chris and Laurie......

I am so frustrated.....I really wanted to like Lloyds friends because I know how much they mean to him...and I have tried so hard to get on with them but some of them are such jerks.....its like they just haven't grown up......actually its the two without kids who haven't grown up and who seem to think the world revolves around them.....

But this friend is coming to stay in the summer and Lloyd won't be home all the time because he will have to work.....so it will be me with him and I am dreading it because I have such little respect for him and I am tired of trying.....

I talked to Lloyd about it this morning......at least he knows I have tried...he sees how much effort I have put in..he has read the emails I have sent
and we have talked many times about it all.......he knows I am sad about this too.....but today I am not so sad...I am just pissed off at this arrogant shit.

Lloyds Mom always says she thought Lloyds ex was selfish because she didn't like Lloyd seeing his friends so often....this was when they lived in the same town.....well you know I TOTALLY understand how Louise felt and Lloyd and I would not have lasted five minutes if we still lived in Worthing near his friends......because his friends are jerks that don't know how to grow up and just think of themselves.....I can just imagine what Louise had to put up with.......

I love Lloyd so much and I have so much respect for him and the man he is......but why on earth does he have such jerks for friends.......some of them seem lovely...a few I met at the going away party were so so nice - funny thing is that they are family guys too.........

Lloyd has some great friends...unfortunately its the jerk thats coming to stay this summer and who will be a part of our lives forever probably....although I don't think Lloyd would ever put up with him disrespecting me here......I think that would end things........actually I know it would...

But you know what I don't want their friendship to end because I know how much it has meant to Lloyd for so long......which is why I have tried and tried.....and which is why some things I don't tell Lloyd because I don't want to cause issues....

But today after all I have done in recent weeks for this stupid friendship...well I am just pissed off and needed to vent....

And yes I may hit delete later but please do comment if you read this.......