Tomorrow will be 20 years to the date since my friend Kirsty died. Friday 13th March 1987. She wasn't even 15 years old.
On the Monday at school I remember she was ina silly mood......she was walking around the school with her best friend Tracey and each time she walked past me she would grin and say 'hello Jane' in singsong voice......the more she did it the funnier it was :)
That night she ran herself a bath......she called down to her Dad that she was having difficulty breathing...she had severe asthma and was having an attack.....her meds didn't work and she was getting worse. Her Dad panicked and decided it would be quicker to drive Kirsty to the hospital than wait on an ambulance. As he drove by the big roundabout (traffic circle) by the hospital he noticed that Kirsty's head fell forward onto her chest....she had stopped breathing.
Kirsty was kept on life support until the Friday when she was pronounced brain dead and they switched off the machines.
I remember after school on the Friday we went to wiat for the bus...I was with my friend Sam...and a few other friends. Mrs Birks (who should have known better) our Biology teacher was by the buses...we went and asked if she had heard anything about Kirsty and she told us quite bluntly that 'they switched off the machines at lunchtime'......I walked away towards the buses and just collapsed to the floor....it was like I just couldn't believe it. I don't remember much about getting home......I remember being on the bus with Sam hugging me and I remember people asking what was wrong.....I remember us all going to Burger King and sitting there for a while before going home.....
I remember what I wore to the funeral. My school uniform but with a black tie instead.....I remember I didn't cry at all through the ceremony and then they started playing the instrumental version of Careless Whisper at the end I just couldn't stop crying.....one of the lunchtime supervisors who was at the service kept saying 'she was too calm...I knew she was just too calm' and she hugged me until we were outside.....I remember looking up and seeing Kirstys little sister in the limousine looking at me through the window........
I don't know how I got back to school...walked maybe. I remmeber being in the nurses office upstairs by the language lab and Mr STone came in and saw me and told me that he believes that if just ONE person cries when someone dies, then that is a life worth living.......and he reminded me just how many people had cried over Kirsty.
Then the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the school (false alarm grrrr)
My class raised money for the Diabetes Association in the UK....Kirsty's sister had Diabetes. We also planted a tree in memory of Kirsty and her parents came to the planting........I remember standing there and afterwards going inside and leaning against the wall crying......I remember the boys in my class hugging me and Rob (my boyfriend kind of at the time) just standing watching and not knowing what to do. I think it was Nigel that was hugging me.....
I think what made it harder was that I was only just getting to know Kirsty well that year......we sat together in art and we went to town together shopping and I remember meeting her in the borough one afternoon near Christmas and catching the bus home togetheer - her Mom was with her that day and she came to school on the Monday telling me that her Mom had told her how nice she thought I was :) How polite lol! I remember Kirsty was holding a roll of gift wrap on the bus...isn't it funny what you remember?
I remember the sound of her breathing next to me in art class.....her asthma made her breathing wheezy all the time.
A friend and I had not spoken to each other for a couple of years.....and after Kirsty died, we became friends again........on Kirsty's birthday we walked up to the crematorium to leave flowers by her gravestone......we were sat there ona cloudy June afternoon and we talked to Kirsty and told her that Ingrid and I were friends again...and that SECOND the sun came out!
When we got to the crematorium we saw her Dad there....he had cycled up to leave flowers too....we stayed over by the gate until he left.......
Kirsty's Grandparents lived close to the school and invited Ingrid and I over after school one day...it became a regualr thing..we'd drop by and spend time with them...they loved to show us their photograph albums of Kirsty and tell us stories about her - like about the mussels she loved to eat...we'd sit and have tea with them and watch Countdown.......
Its so hard to believe that Kirsty died 20 years ago........20 YEARS! I senta card to her parents 10 years ago to just say that Kirsty wasn't forgotten....I will do the same this year but not now - I think I'd rather wait and send to them in June when her birthday was.
I think if a child of mine had died, I would be happy to know they had not been forgotten.
I am still so sad that we didn't get to know each other better Kirsty. And I am so so sad that Natalie didn't get to grow up with you and share motherhood with you and all that kind of thing.....I hope she is doing well. I think she wanted to be a theatre nurse (OR nurse)......
The day after Kirsty died, Louise had her 15th birthday party.......I got VERY drunk on cheap cider and ended up throwing up in Louises bathroom and my Dad had to come and get me.
Louise...I know we all remember things differently...what do you remember about that month? Can you believe it was 20 years ago?
Kirsty is on the right in the picture above...
